Our purpose of this blog was to shed light on our lives and hopefully help others going through a similar situation. However, since Kenny’s passing, my personal hope for this blog is to show anyone who takes the time to read it that life is never perfect, and it is never like you hope and plan for it to be, and to never take advantage of the time you have in front of you.
If I’m being real honest with you, there were times in our marriage where we weren’t perfect – by any means. I feel like everyone saw our love as this perfect fairytale, but we had our troubles like any other marriage. One thing that made it different was we had this additional struggle of a terminal illness, that added a whole other set of struggles to the mix that some couples never have to deal with. Not to downplay any other marriage and the struggle that couples have to endure, but this particular struggle gave us a different outlook on our relationship, our marriage, our friendship, and our place in this world. The hard part is I can’t speak for Kenny… but for me, personally, I learned the importance of loyalty. Being in someone’s corner no matter the circumstances, no matter the outcome. And having that feeling reciprocated. That’s such a powerful feeling.
Kenny always felt in debt to me for all the things I had done for him and had to do for him, but I always reassured him that one day I would need the same. But I never acted on the fact that I was expecting anything in return. I always joked with him that one day I would be pregnant or sick where he would have to take care of me. But that day never happened. And I’d be lying if I said I was 100% okay with that because I know how important that was to him. But I’m okay with the fact that I will receive that care from others – friends, family, loved ones.
I was there for him, through sickness and health. And I never would have traded any day of that. It taught me so much. And I will forever be in debt for that.