All the firsts, each milestone anniversary, birthday, life event… I’m constantly made aware of everyone’s… as much as I’m truly happy for them, it’s so bittersweet.

I chose to do life with you thinking I would get to share all of those with you.  But I won’t.  One day, hopefully, someday, it will be with someone.  Processing that mind and heart shift is so much harder than anyone would think.  I almost feel like I don’t deserve to have those special moments with someone else.

With our 5th year anniversary around the corner and your 30th birthday shortly after, these feelings have been so strong the past couple of weeks.  I came home from a wonderful, much-needed weekend with the girls, and all I wanted to do was come home and give you a big hug.

I think I miss those the most…

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