embracing uncertainty. the unknown.

So I usually have blog posts drafted on my phone in my notes (I actually already have my next one drafted and ready to go), but for this one, I don’t.  I only have those 4 words.  Embracing uncertainty. The unknown.

For the past couple of years, the word “embrace” has struck chords within my heart harder than any other word.  It’s one of those words that every time I hear it or see it, I instantly feel something deep inside that is so hard to describe, but so easy to feel.

When things started becoming real, like really real, I started realizing how important it was to embrace – each other, happy moments, difficulties, challenges, tough times.  To me, embracing all these things meant I was completely present in that moment, whatever and wherever it was – good or bad.  The past can never be retrieved, and the future is definitely not guaranteed.  Now is all you have.  Embrace it.

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With the new year, I’m left with a ton of mixed emotions.  I’ve been brainstorming my goals for this year, as well as my one word (if you haven’t ever read the book One Word, I highly recommend it – and there will be a separate post about that at a later date – soon).  As I anticipated, my head and heart are all over the place with things I want to do and accomplish this year, and it’s been hard to list, let along narrow down, all of them.  Health, travel, experience, love, give, volunteer – these are just a few… But the one thing I kept going back to that ties into all of these is growth.  I want to grow as a person, as a new person, as the new me.

“Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience.” -Paulo Coelho

All of the goals I mentioned above seem great and exciting, but as I started thinking about all of them, I started getting scared. Nervous. I started to pull back.  What if I can’t keep up my workout routine?  What if I make a big move and it doesn’t go as planned?  What if I take that leap of love and fall flat on my face?  What if I give and be vulnerable to others and I’m not received like I wanted?  All of these thoughts started racing through my head.  The uncertainty.  The unknown.

But I had to remind myself – this is now, so embrace it.  All of it.  Hunker down and ride it out, and have faith that it is all going to work out in the end.  Worry less, embrace more.

For we walk by faith, not by sight.  2 Corinthians 5:7

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You know when things happen and just fall into place so perfectly you couldn’t have planned it better yourself?  Well, one of those things happened to me over the past couple of weeks.  The sermon at church the other week was centered around the message from the song “Mary, did you know?”  In the sermon, Pastor Marty referenced a verse that I had heard before, but never really thought twice about it.  Well, in my Jesus Calling reading from yesterday (Jan. 6th), it referenced the same exact verse – and I wrote it down in my journal.  When I revisited the sermon just now, I skipped forward to the meat of the message, and he was reading this verse.  It all hit me at once.  This is exactly where my goals, fears, emotions are.  A couple weeks ago when I started thinking about this past year and my goals for 2016, I reworded the phrase and started asking, “Danielle, did you know?”… It started a domino effect of thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

Danielle, did you know that you would marry a man who would leave such a legacy to so many?

Danielle, did you know that you would be widowed before the age of 30?

Danielle, did you know that you would inspire many – near and far – to live each and every day as a bonus day?

Danielle, did you know that you have a future I have planned for you that holds many great promises beyond your imagination?

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.  Ephesians 3:20

Without going into much detail, for now, I have some big goals and changes that I want in 2016.  Am I scared?  Of course. Completely.  100%.  But why would I want to question or overanalyze the future and plans set before me?  Why would I want to miss the immeasurably more?

Embrace the uncertainty.  Embrace the unknown.  Embrace the immeasurably more.